It’s all the same. I am still unwell, broke and horrifically depressed. Excuse me for being so absent but I don’t feel like anyone wants to hear what I have to say. Because it’s all the same. And I don’t know how to change it.
Things seemed to be going okay with H. She was in school doing some upgrading and for a week or two all seemed to be well.
Then two weeks ago the drama began again. I really don’t have the emotional energy to go into it at the moment but suffice it to say it was one thing after another. This has all served to show me how far down she’s gone. Two days ago it was a call saying that he was in jail for assaulting her. The neighbours had called the police. Considering the fact that the neighbours are crack heads it must have been pretty bad. The police got her into a crisis center/detox. She admitted to being pretty high. It sounds like her usual of primarily booze and crack but now oxycontin has been added to the mix. She told me she’s been using all the time she’s been up there except for a week or so here and there. And so has the bf.
I put $20 (good old overdraft) into her account last night for smokes and some junk food like she asked. Thinking it would help her while she was in detox. Stupid me.
When I called the detox today they told me she left yesterday and hasn’t been back. I know he’s out of jail and she met up with him yesterday supposedly to give him the apartment key. She told me she had a “day pass” from detox. Never heard of that before. I’m sure there’s a restraining order and she’s not supposed to be with him at all. I haven’t heard from her today. And really I don’t want to. Because I’m sure that whatever spews out of her mouth will be a pile of BS designed to part me from cash that I don’t even have. Or (even worse) a play to have me allow her to come home.
This bridge has been burnt and I really don’t know if it can ever be rebuilt.
I blocked his number from my phone(s). And I’m not answering any long distance or private calls. One word…
I’m sure she’s laughing at me. And that hurts most of all.