H was actually first given a “diagnosis” of BPD when she was 15. But we were told that it couldn’t be a true diagnosis as her personality was still forming. It would have to wait until she was an adult. The only psych meds she was ever prescribed was prozac when she was going through a treatment program at a bulimia clinic. When she was 18 and overdosed and almost died the psychiatarist said it was impossible to accurately diagnose her because her drug use was so heavy.
This time is different. She’s 21 and other than drinking a couple of times hasn’t used (as far as I know and she tested clean on the toxicology report). When I took Fractal Mom’s advice and looked at the criteria and nine points of diagnosis, I realized that she fit into the profile of 7 of them. And she has since her early teens, before her drug use began.
So as far as it goes, I’m buying in. Maybe not totally but I am buying in on a cautionary level. My daughter does not remember much about the event leading up to the suicide attempt. Or the attempt itself. She needed stitches for her wrists and they ran IV fluids and NAC (to flush out and reduce the toxins for her liver in the hopes of averting permanent liver damage from the tylenol). They released her yesterday evening.
The doctor has put her on paxil for the short term. Hoping she’ll be off it in six months or less. My doctor has done this, for situational depression. She is to have no contact with her father. She is to go in and see the psychiatrist every two weeks for the beginning of long term therapy and behavioral modification and coping skills. He has also given her seroquel to be taken at bedtime and prn if necessary. This one I’m not too crazy about. We use it a lot at the hospital and it zones people right out. I’m going to have to talk to her about that.
Also given that she has attempted suicide 4 times, all with pills as the main smoking gun I don’t like the fact that she has a bottle of this stuff lying around.
This is hard. Because she’s not at home I can’t monitor anything. She lives 6 hours away. And I still hold that coming home back to this town would not be the best thing for her. And given all my health problems of late, my doctor doesn’t think it would be great for me. But my burden of guilt over this is huge. I don’t know how to cope with it and reconcile my needs and hers. I don’t know if I’m right to not swoop in and bring her home.
Right now H’s bf’s mother has driven there (she’s closer than I am). It must be good karma from rescuing her son and driving him to detox way back when! And H’s aunt is there as well. They are both keeping in touch with me and so is H. She sounds okay, just fragile. Not drugged up or anything.
I’ll keep everyone posted…