That’s my mantra lately. I’m looking for some peace in my life and I can’t find it if I’m constantly being dragged into H’s drama.
And there has been drama. She’s called drunk, she’s called to say that her Dad took her last ten dollars, that her bf is using again, he’s mean, she’s leaving him and can she come home, on and on and on. Now to be fair there have also been some good calls and text messages. She’s signed up for school, she’s back to going to meetings, she’s going for a run or just back from the gym with her grandmother.
But you know what? I don’t want to be drawn in to any of it. Not even the good stuff. That might be hard to understand but I don’t want to get my hopes up again just to have them dashed, it hurts too much.
So for the time being I don’t call, I don’t text, I don’t ask. Sometimes I take her calls and answer her texts, sometimes I don’t.
I have to do things for myself. I need to take care of me. This is my life and I want to live it while I’m here to do so. Her life is her own. Yes I still love her, but I think I’m finally getting the detachment thing, at least a little. And I’m okay with it.
So there it is..whatever is going on, I just don’t want to know.