Thankfully, it’s not my daughter singing it this time. At least not directly.
H’s bf was found. He finally contacted his mother on Sunday. He had made it to the city where I live. He was drinking. And I don’t know about you but for me, drinking always eventually leads to the drug of choice for these addicts. So she was understandably worried. If he were to go downtown looking to score he could have been killed because he owes a lot of people a lot of money. The poor woman lives 12 hours away, so there was little she could do anyway. My daughter was in a really high state of anxiety. Trying to deal with her grief and the worry associated with her bf, had me worrying about her. (Reading this makes me cringe. We are all so sick.)
Both H and his mother tried to convince him to go to detox here. The problem is, there is a crack house right next door. (Ironic eh?) So he was afraid to go. He didn’t want to use or been seen by anyone there. So I offered to take him to a different detox 1 1/2 away. Which he agreed to. We had to do some fancy footwork to get him away from the guy he was staying with. He owed him money (for beer and food apparently) and couldn’t pay. I was certainly not going to pay him so it was a bit of a stealth mission getting him out.
He was drunk when I got him but didn’t appear to have been using anything else. He didn’t have “the look”. Do you know the look I mean? Hollow eyed and gray looking, jumping out their skin. We talked quite a bit on the drive. He said how scared he was with the wait list for rehab. (They’ve given him a 1-4 month timeline!?!?) It’s a hard core, year long super intensive program for habitual relapsers who have been to treatment centers before. (He has been to ten in 7 years.) How bad he feels about disappointing his parents and my daughter especially with what she is going through. How much he appreciated my help. How he is so tired of his life. He mentioned that his counsellor back home had referred him to have a mental health assessment done, that she believes he has a dual diagnois. And how much that scared him as well.
I bought him a phone card so he could call his mother before I dropped him off. He asked me to walk him in so I did. The man in charge said he couldn’t accept him if I didn’t agree to pick him up when his stay was over. I felt like I didn’t have much choice and I care about the boy but I am JUST SO TIRED. I don’t know what is going to happen or how long they will keep him. He was hoping that they could get him into a short term rehab while he is waiting for his long term placement. But I don’t know if that is possible.
My husband doesn’t understand why I did this. I tried to explain to him that it would reduce my daughter’s anxiety to know that he was safe. That this boy (man really, he is 25) is reaching out for help. But most of all I did it because if my daughter ever needed help and I couldn’t be there I’m hoping that someone else would be.
I don’t know if I did the right thing by getting involved and helping. Did I?