Don’t call me, I’ll call you


Have any of you ever actually said that to your child? Or thought I? Because I’m thinking it right now and wish that I had the courage to say it. Just to get some peace, at least for awhile.

I’ve already gotten two calls since Thursday. The first came late Thursday night and that one wasn’t too bad. Except that she asked for money. She said she needed shorts, that the ones she had were too short and she couldn’t wear them because the place is coed. Then it was on to the running shoes. And another phone card. And her lip ring fell out. And could I send her 200 dollars. It made me want to scream. I didn’t even get 24 hours of peace before it started.

Yesterday’s call really did me in though. First she stated that she hated it and everyone there was stupid. Typical new rehab thing I know but it makes my anxiety go through the roof. I find myself falling into the fear of her leaving. When I told her that I’d mailed her some envelopes and stamps she said she didn’t need any stupid stamps she needed me to send her a clock so that she wouldn’t get demerits for being late for stuff. She asked me why I couldn’t send her something useful. It made me want to reach through the phone and slap her. Arrogant, selfish little brat.

Then came the kicker…she started to cry and told me she was pregnant. At first I couldn’t say anything. She said she went to the drugstore with one of the girls who had her “wings” and bought a test and it came back positive. I don’t know what to believe. This has actually happened before where she said that she had had a positive test, but it turned out she was lying and when I had her do one right in front of me, it was negative. On the other hand she was pregnant last summer and had an abortion. (Sorry Mom if your reading this) I just told her to talk to her counsellor about it and have him make an appointment with a doctor up there to do another test. That’s when she hung up on me.

I don’t know what to think, do or feel. These kids are SO STUPID. I don’t want to raise another child.  I’ve already raised 5 of my own, mostly by myself. And I’m not even done yet, my youngest is only twelve. I don’t want to have to deal with the consequences of her actions anymore. If she is pregnant and does have this baby, who the hell is going to pick up the pieces if she starts using again? I couldn’t leave any baby or child in a bad situation let alone my own grandchild.

I’m just really, really mad right now. And I don’t want to talk to her at the moment. So I wish I had the courage to say those words. Don’t call me, I’ll call you. Just for now.

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7 Responses to Don’t call me, I’ll call you

  1. DAWN M MCCOY says:

    Oh God. Been there, done that, got the shirt. I’m sorry. and yes, I have said those words, and still say them. alot.

    and I am raising two of her kids and may get the third one soon (two oldest are almost 11 and almost 7, and the baby i don’t have just turned 3). When I got the oldest, MY youngest was 11.

    It’s not a road everyone should walk, but its a road I wouldn’t have any other way. I didn’t want my grandkids raised by my daughter who was using, and I didn’t want them raised by strangers.

  2. Kathy M. says:

    I’ve just gotten caught up on your last several posts. This sounds very hard. I remember those calls. When I started saying no, my daughter stopped asking. It wasn’t easy, though.

    I will keep you in my prayers. Hugs to you.

  3. Barbara says:

    Do you have caller ID? If you can tell its her…maybe you should just not answer for the next few days. I hope she is NOT pregnant. Its very maddening to hear them complain and make demands…I’ve been through that and was amazed at the audacity of my son asking for things from jail or where ever.

    I hope you get some rest and peace and quiet, sounds like you could use some.

  4. Kristi says:

    I’ve never said those exact words, but I have screamed over the phone “I’m done, you’re on your own, I’ve had it, good luck!” They can just suck the life out of us sometimes, I know! Sometimes when I comment on a post I know I’m “preaching to the choir” as the saying goes! So, please forgive me if I’m doing that here. I just wanted to say, as we all know only too well, that addiction is rooted in self, so try not to let her whining suck up all your energy. I think you handled her little bomb about being pregnant very well by sending her back to her counselor, that’s what they’re there for. We live by the choices we make…this is my mantra to my son, he’s heard it millions of times with the hope that eventually the light will come on, he’ll stop before doing something stupid and think OH MY GOD…I GET IT…finally!!! Praying always!!!

  5. madyson007 says:

    The youngest of my four children is 6 years old! I would honestly have a nervous breakdown if I J and his girlfriend brought a child into this world. I can not add another child into my chaos. I know all children are a gift from god but I will pray that this is not in the plans right now for your daughter or any other addict. (((hugs)))

    PS… I could have written your post it is so achingly familiar. I just left a message on Helplessly Hoping’s Blog about J’s first request/demand from detox. They are stupid. Sorry…but sometimes that word just about sums it all up.

  6. MommaBear says:

    Hope that it’s a false alarm for you but I could add another baby to my chaos if even you need a good home 🙂

  7. heathersmom1 says:

    Your daughter sounds so familiar to me with my daughter. Through Al-Anon I am glad to have learned that it is a disease and that I didn’t raise an arrogant, selfish brat… BUT… my gosh do I think that some (okay, a lot) times.
    I just had a call with Heather regarding her wanting money and I had to say no… She used her “tactics” on me and of course I was mentally SICK ALL DAY trying to grasp anything I could from Al-Anon. I was in the grocery store and kept thinking I would burst out in tears and wondering why do I have to deal with this??? I can only imagine how you are feeling… I hope you’ve had some peace since Sunday.
    She IS in treatment TODAY, and I praise God for that.
    As far as the pregnancy – give it some time and see if it is it true and a viable pregnancy…
    Love, hugs and PRAYERS!

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